Sign up for Your
FREE Subscription
Your First Name:
Your E-mail:


Who Really Runs Things In The Hospital?

05/25/07

You all know Nurse Mark, but you may not know that he spent 2 decades working in the conventional medical hospital system - in almost every department from ER to Surgery to Cancer and Hospice Care. As you can imagine he has "seen it all"... This is one of his favorite jokes, and contains a modicum of truth...

The Rank Structure of a Hospital

Chief of Staff:
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more productive than a train
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Talks with God

Internist:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God if special request is approved

General Practitioner:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Can fire a speeding bullet
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Is occasionally addressed by God

Resident:
Barely clears a picket fence
Loses tug-of-war with a train
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Swims well
Talks with animals

Intern:
Makes high skid marks on a wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by a train
Is not issued ammunition
Dog paddles
Talks to walls

Medical Student:
Runs into buildings
Recognizes a train 2 out of 3 times
Wets himself with a water pistol
Cannot stay afloat without a life preserver
Mumbles to himself

Nurse:
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks trains off the track
Catches speeding bullets with her teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
The Nurse IS God!!!!


 

Inside HealthBeat

Meet Our Team
----------------
Contact Us
----------------
Readers Rants

----------------

 
DISCLAIMER: Consuming the information provided in HealthBeat may cause reduced side-effects, increased knowledge, improved health and well-being and the potential for enhanced common-sense. Use at your own risk. These statements have not been evaluated or blessed by the FDA, The Big Drug Companies, or Big Medicine and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease or medical condition. None of the suggestions made herein are intended to take the place of your personal physician, shaman, chiropractor or other healthcare provider. Please be aware that statements made herein could result in a loss of profits to the FDA, Big Pharma and Big Medicine and should be used cautiously with this in mind. These statements contain no appreciable amounts of calories, carbohydrates, sodium or cholesterol and are certified to be free of all trans-fats.